Buckle up—literally! In this "definitely fictitious" announcement, a nearly nondescript aircraft manufacturer introduces a thrilling new lineup of mid-flight plunges, exotic safety episodes, and unexpected flight control jams (because why not?). From congressional hearings to production setbacks, the company is bracing for turbulence—but rest assured, safety remains a priority (kind of). If you're looking for a once-in-a-lifetime flying experience, well… you just might get one. Oh, and the train is on time.

Read entire article