As of April 28, 2025: $39.92 (+0.58%)

Bank of America: Where dreams sort of come true, customer service is sometimes awake, and Warren Buffett is maybe ghosting them. 👻💸

Yes, friends, Berkshire Hathaway has been trimming its BAC position recently — but still clutches onto 8.95% of shares like an old security blanket. Meanwhile, institutions own about 73% of the float — decent, but hardly a standing ovation. 👏

So is Bank of America a knight in shining armor 🛡️ or just... a reliable but slightly sleepy court jester? 🤡 Let's dig in:

🙄 Quick Personal Disclaimer:

I've been banking here for 35 years.
And after decades of "partnership," I still can’t tell if they love me... or if they even know I'm alive. 🥲

• Reverse splits? Recorded late.

• Trading platform? Sometimes acts like it’s had a few too many. 🍷

• Business lending? More like “business ignoring.” 📪

But hey — I’m open-minded (sometimes). So let's check the cold, hard numbers:

📈 First Quarter 2025 Highlights (Cue the Trumpets... Maybe 🎺)

Revenue: $27.4 billion (+6% YoY)

Net Income: $7.4 billion (+10% YoY)

EPS: $0.90 (up from $0.76)

Net Interest Income: $14.4 billion

Deposits: ~$2 TRILLION 🤯

Provision for Credit Losses: $1.5 billion (flat vs. last quarter, up vs. last year)

Book Value per Share: $36.39 (+8%)

Return on Equity: 10.4% (solid, not spicy 🔥)

Tangible Book Value: $27.13 (+9%)

Common Equity Tier 1 Ratio: 11.8% (aka: We’re Safe-ish™)

🛡️ Translation: Still making money. Still here. Still meh.

🏦 Breaking It Down by Division:

🏡 Consumer Banking:

• $2.5B net income

• 38M consumer checking accounts 💳

• 4B digital logins (because nobody wants to talk to humans anymore)

• 65% of sales now digitally-enabled (insert boomer joke here?)

💎 Wealth Management (aka: Fancy Folks Division):

• $1B net income

• $4.2T client balances 📈

• 7% increase in assets under management (AUM)

💼 Global Banking:

• $1.9B net income

• Still doing okay-ish in investment banking (#3 ranking, baby!)

🌎 Global Markets:

• $1.9B net income

• Record equities revenue of $2.2B 🚀

• 12th consecutive quarter of growth — slow and steady, like a sloth with a brokerage license 🦥📈

🧠 The Valuation Snapshot:

• P/E Ratio: 11.85

• Forward P/E: 10.59

• Dividend Yield: 2.62%

📉 Not expensive. Not cheap.
📈 Decent dividend. Reliable-ish.
🎢 Excitement level: somewhere between watching paint dry and a mild soap opera.

🎯 Our Take (aka: Can You Do Worse? Probably.)

• BAC is defensive — like a solid raincoat. ☔

• Not a high-growth rocket ship. 🚀

• A 20% gain over the next 3–4 years? Totally plausible.

• Will you brag about owning it at cocktail parties? Nope. 🍸🙅

❗Disclaimer (aka: Banking With Eyes Wide Open):

I bank at BofA and somehow still have hair left.
We’re not financial advisors — just seasoned cynics with a soft spot for stability but we don't mind rocket ships. 🧠💥
Invest if you must. But expect more “steady drip” than “pop the champagne.” 🍾💵