"I'm sorry. The last thing I should be doing as a ghost is scaring people. But, you know, I don't have a choice," Jake Orbs-Blanket says to Sybil Clinton. Sybil, terrified, is not used to seeing ghosts, especially not in her office where one expects to encounter, what's the word—humans? She should have seen the signs: the displaced jewelry, the mysterious lights, the disembodied laughter, the screams, the footsteps, the ringing bells, and the violin playing at night. As a foreteller, it's a bit of a conundrum that she never sees anything coming. "Are you, you know?" Sybil stammers, more stating than asking. "I was hoping you'd see me coming," Jake chirps. "You're a foreteller, right, like an oracle? I...

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Hello, we’re Facebook, and we’d like to express our deepest thanks to the lawmakers and policymakers of the US for considering a nationwide ban on all electronic devices against those folks at TikTok. We’re pleased that a house panel recently unanimously approved a bill that could ban their practices. It’s about time. What kind of social media platform dares to develop an algorithm that immerses a billion monthly users in a feed that’s so relevant as to be addictive to our very own users?

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To our esteemed consumers, airline customers, shareholders, regulators, and all those willing to give us a chance,

We are excited to announce a bold new direction for our company (Boeing). It is high time we diversify and secure new sources of revenue. Moving forward, please be advised that we will continue to design, manufacture, and sell our traditional lineup of airplanes, rockets, missiles, and satellites. Additionally, we are thrilled to introduce an exciting array of new experiences, including mid-flight plunges, post-takeoff blow-offs, exotic safety episodes, and flight control jams.

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Move Over, Swifties: Miley Cyrus's Flowers Is Pop, Disco, Rock, Funk, Flamenco, Country, Snubs, Reaffirmation of Political & Economic Dogma, A Powerful Reflection on America's World Standing, And an Essay on Eschatology

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Listing fifty reasons why you shouldn't be a writer - for fun!

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