“To tip or not to tip” is not the question. 💸 
The real question is: 👉 How much before your wallet starts crying?

Tipping is part social contract, part math quiz, and part guilt trip. Let’s break it down before your server, driver, or stylist starts side-eyeing you.

🍽️ Restaurants & Bars

• Restaurants: 15–20% of pre-tax bill (don’t tip the IRS, they’re doing just fine).

• Bars: $1–2 per drink, or 15–20% on a tab.

  • $1 for a beer.

  • $2 for a craft cocktail that took longer to shake than it took you to decide on it.

  • $0 if bartender scratches your car (but then why was your bartender near your car?).

⚠️ Note: If food is cold, might be the cook’s fault. If service is cold, that’s the waiter’s fault.

Even MarketWatch notes the trend: “average tipping is dropping—now at 19.1%, the lowest in seven years thanks to tipping fatigue and price surcharges”—so maybe your server should start playing more dad jokes to earn an upgrade to 20% tip status.

🚗 Delivery & Rides

• Food Delivery: 15–20%. Extra if they paddle through a monsoon to get your sushi to you.

• Uber/Lyft: 10–20%.

  • Driver helps with luggage = 🚀 +5%.

  • Driver plays elevator jazz all ride long = -5%.

  • Reckless driving = Pray first, tip later (smaller).

💇 Grooming & Glam

• Hairdressers / Barbers / Nail Techs: 15–20%.

  • If they fix your tragic haircut from another salon = 25%.

  • If they cause the tragic haircut? Still tip. But take a photo for posterity.

🏨 Hotels

• Valet: $2–5 when they return your car. (If they return it with an extra dent: -$200 deductible instead.)

• Housekeeping: $2–5 per night.

• Bellman: $2 per bag (minimum $5). Yes, your backpack counts as a bag. So does your emotional baggage, but nobody’s carrying that for you.

🚕 Taxis

10–15% of the fare. In New York, closer to 15%. In Rome, just pray the meter is real.

🗺️ Tours & Extras

• Tour Guides: 15–20%. If they stop you from walking into traffic while snapping selfies: double it.

• Personal Trainers, Spa, Car Wash: Around 15%. If they make you sweat extra: pay in tears.

For a clear, witty, and super-practical breakdown of tipping scales, check out the America Josh Tipping Guide — it’s like a GPS for gratuities (minus the rerouting).

🧮 Quick Math Tricks

• Move the decimal and double (20%).

• Or just use your phone calculator, because life’s too short.

• Or… round up generously and look cool.

😂 A Few “Different” Tips

1. Delivery drivers in rainstorms: Think of them as soggy heroes.

2. Bartender vs Barista: One mixes martinis, the other foams milk. Don’t confuse the tipping math.

3. Apartment Doormen: Christmas and Hanukkah aren’t just holidays, they’re paydays.

4. Inflation Alert: Tips creep up too. Soon it’ll be: “Welcome to Starbucks, please tip 30% for walking in.”

How to Beat Inflation (Hint: Don’t Buy a Thing)

🎭 Tipping Etiquette

• Tip discreetly. No need to announce: “BEHOLD, MY 18% GRATITUDE.”

• Cash is king, but card works too.

• No tip for taxes. Uncle Sam is already dining well.

🤔 Question for readers:

What’s the weirdest situation where you’ve been expected to tip? (Mine: A self-checkout machine flashing “Would you like to add gratuity?” Like, who am I tipping here, the algorithm?)

🚨 Disclaimer:

We’re not financial advisors, just professional eaters and occasional tippers. Don’t stiff your waiter unless they stiffed you first.

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